This is what is standing between you and the life you want to live. What Living Behind The Glass Wall Is Like What is the glass wall? I’ve spent the majority of my life behind this enormous layer of…. Something. When I was a kid I remember realizing it was there. Everyone around me was having fun and laughing but I just couldn’t get into it. Like a part of me was holding back. Even in my most intimate moments I felt like I was observing myself doing things but, never reall

Because The Mentality You Bring To Bedtime Matters Have you ever watched a scary movie in the evening? Then that night you have nightmares or you are replaying the movie in your dreams all night long? This is because while you sleep your brain is going over your day. A review of sorts. Your brain is going to spend time ruminating and trying to make sense of what you did and learned that day, especially what you did right before you fell asleep. This is because having melatoni

Because you never know when and where you are going to be triggered. I have found myself sobbing in an airplane bathroom trying to put myself back together, before going back out to sit next to my kids for the next two hours. I have found myself rocking in my closet during a "relaxing" day of couch surfing. When this happens, if you are not prepared, it can destroy multiple days. After 22 years of grappling with PTSD, here is exactly what I do when I am triggered. It can be

Trigger warning self harm and suicidal ideation When the thoughts in your head are mostly painful, negative self talk, anxiety inducing, and sprinkled with intrusive images, it's past time to seek a good therapist. Here is my therapy journey, and what I've gained from it. What I've learned from having over 10 therapist in multiple states, and what I did once I graduated from therapy. At the age of 13 my mom caught me self harming and finally found out I was regularly staring

If you have never journaled before, the idea of beginning a new practice can be a bit daunting. Like what do you even write? Fear not my friend, a few small steps and you'll be on your way. Personally I am not into E journaling. Firstly, it feels a bit cold, secondly multiple studies show the importance of the act of writing your feelings on paper has a very big impact on your emotional processing. Journaling Step By Step Choose the journal that's right for you. Previously I

The Very Good Case For Journaling Having PTSD your mind can be a very loud place, you can feel disconnected from your body, and your emotions can feel like you live on a constant rollercoaster. To reclaim your sanity, and connection to yourself, there are few things that can help you heal better than journaling. Putting your thoughts on paper can remove them from the replay loop in your head. Writing what you are feeling makes your emotions more clear to you which in turn ma

The routines you participate in regarding your self care can be self deprecating or soul building. The intentions and mentality behind it makes all the difference. Let's apply some self love to your body, mind, and soul.

Like The Barbie Movie Said, "Being a woman is literally impossible!" Having the confidence to love your body is complicated for most women. Society and pop culture sell us an idea of the perfect woman and as long as we spend every last dime, suffer through painful treatments, or even have possibly life threatening surgery, then we will be beautiful and worth loving. All that is the uphill battle we are fighting as women. After being assulted it can make things even worse or

Why meditation? Meditation is the practice of observing the mind and in doing so you gain the power to choose which thoughts you dive into, or the thoughts you'd rather not. As someone who deals with intense intrusive thoughts regularly, I sincerely believe my meditation practice has been crucial to my mental health and sometimes even my survival. The goal of meditation is to clear your mind of thoughts. Which sounds easy enough. Ok just don't think. This is a lot easier sai

Every morning lays the mental ground for the day ahead. Putting my mind in the right state can make the difference between a day that is smooth and calm versus a day filled with intense negative self talk and flashbacks. Below is my morning practice to get my head on straight before the day begins.

What is "Triggered" When triggered you re-live in some way, that moment or moments of being abused or assaulted. Your body is convinced that you are in danger and goes into fight, flight, freeze, or fawn mode. Not to be condicending but to be thurough. Fighting meaning you are fighting for your life. Flight running for your life. Freeze being paralyzed with fear. Finally fawn is when you are appeasing the person threatening you in order to survive. What Being Triggered Feel

Every morning I wake up and the waterfall of thoughts begin. While I was in the thick of my worst days the first thoughts would immidiately set my heart racing. "The world hates women." "How am I going to protect your daughters from men?" "I wish I wasn't awake." Some days I am able to challenge those thoughts and put my train of thought on a different path. Somedays I just can't seem to get out of it. PTSD thinking can feel like an all consuming one way track that has no alt