Emergency Self Care

Because you never know when and where you are going to be triggered. I have found myself sobbing in an airplane bathroom trying to put myself back together, before going back out to sit next to my kids for the next two hours. I have found myself rocking in my closet during a "relaxing" day of couch surfing. When this happens, if you are not prepared, it can destroy multiple days. After 22 years of grappling with PTSD, here is exactly what I do when I am triggered.

It can be sincerely and deeply startling to find yourself triggered from something you never expected. I have been in extreme fight or flight from something seemingly as innocent as Pinterest, sending my sympathetic nervous system into panic mode. Seeing sexual assault used for entertainment or worse, arousal, is nauseating and sometimes terrifying. Yes I kink shame this. No one should ever think sexually assaulting someone is fun or a game to be played. It normalizes sexual assault. I'm looking at you Grand Theft Auto.

Before Becoming Triggered

Make an emergancy self care plan. This is the steps you are going to take once you become triggered in order to decrease the amount of time and intensity of the triggered state. While in a triggered state it is almost impossible to think clearly. You are having a panic attack of the most extreme order. Your body is telling you, your life is in danger. For this reason, having your plan mapped out in advance takes the foot off the gas so you can pump the breaks.

Type it up and print it out, or make it in the notes app on your phone so you can have it with you when you are away from home.

My Personal Emergency Self Care Plan

• At home plan

• Go to safe quite space

  • For me this is my closet. I have a small meditation chair and lap desk for journaling.

• Decrease Stimulation

  • No internet

  • No Distractions.

    • I fully understand the desire to numb yourself by putting on a show, movie, or scrolling, but by avoiding yourself you are putting a bandaid on a bullet hole. This temporary fix will not heal you or help you in the future. You must deal with what you are going through right now, not pretend that it isn't happening. Knowing how you feel and practicing responding to it, will empower you to know how to handle it in the future.

• Get A Soft Blanket.

  • My weighted blanket is very soothing to me and helps the buzz feeling in my body calm down.

• Sprits Lavender spray

  • I like to incorporate all my senses to increase the impact of the self soothing.

• Put on my headphones

  • I listen to the Triggered Deep Imagining from To Be Magnetic. (not sponsored but wouldn't mind if I was) In this recording Lacy Phillips uses a guided somatic and EMDR inspired meditation to bring you back to a place of calm safety. I sincerely cannot express enough how much this has helped me.

  • If you do not have a TBM membership, you can do something like binural beats or calming music and do butterfly box breathing.

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    • To do butterfly box breathing cross your arms over your chest so your hands are resting on your shoulders. In a steady rythm begin tapping your shoulders one at a time, (left, right, left right.) As you are tapping breathe in through your nose for four taps, hold your breath for four taps, then blow out through your mouth for eight taps. I reccomend doing this for minimum of 1 minute. There are countless studies showing how deep breathing slows your heart rate and changes the hormonal makeup of your body.

• Recite Affirmations

  • I am Safe Then I mentally prove it to myself by showing myself I am in my closet, by myself, wrapped in my soft blanket.

  • I am Loved Then I prove it to myself. I love me, my dog loves me, my kiddos love me, my best friend loves me, my sister loves me. As I picture these loved ones in my mind, I imagine I am getting a hug from each of them. That fills my heart with love and security.

  • I am _______ I always change the third one to fit what I need in this moment. The word can be strong, brave, smart, resilliant. Then back up that thought with evidence to show your mind you are whatever that word is.

• REMEMBER TO BE KIND AND LOVE YOURSELF

  • This is literally written on the bottom of my print out. In the past, I would get mad at myself for not being "normal" and keeping my shit together. I now know this IS NOT MY FAULT, just like it IS NOT YOUR FAULT. Giving yourself the love you need, will heal you and help you to overcome this painful moment far better than mentally abusing yourself.

The steps for when you are away from home are almost the same with a couple of alterations.

Out and About Emergency Self Care

• Go somewhere safe and quite

  • Your car, a bathroom stall, a less occupied space of the room you are in.

• Decrease Stimulation (as much as possible)

• You don't have to keep a blanky in your purse but you can keep a small strip of fabric in your pocket or better yet a worry stone like this https://link.amazon/B044RutwR This gives you the tactile stimulation.

• Smell something Soothing

  • I wear an essential oils bracelet like this one https://link.amazon/B00D8xQCb with a specific smell in it. I take a deep inhale from it a few times to help calm me.

• Butterfly Box Breathing

  • If you are in a public place and can't leave, you can discretly do this on your thighs under the table. Using just your fingers to tap your legs can be enough.

  • For four taps breathe in through your nose. For four taps hold your breath. Then for eight taps slowly release your breath.

Having an emergency self care plan has honestly been very helpful for me. With my whole heart I hope that it helps you too.

Hang in there freind. You're in good company